Choose Your Own Adventure
by Lehxra
Summary: Take 2. The Kakekage hates his job. Someone needs to cheer him up!
1. Chapter 1

_**So...yeah. This randomly came to me one day. R&R**_

_**(D:) Kishi-sama owns these charas.  
**_

* * *

Sakura sat silently on the floor in her living room. Well, it wasn't necessarily _her_ living room anymore, because this wasn't necessarily her house anymore. Now she shared it with Naruto and Sasuke.

Sasuke had gotten back about a month ago and put under the watch of Naruto and Sakura.

So Sakura sat silently in the living room on the floor while Sasuke was reading something in a chair in front of her. Sakura was bored. There wasn't much to do but to stare at Sasuke. Which wasn't very fun, she concluded, but did it anyway. And of course Sasuke could tell she was staring; it had been going on for about half an hour now. Finally, he looked up from his reading material and asked,

"What?"

Sakura continued to stare, however she had a distant look in her eyes. When she finally opened her mouth, a strange thing came out of it. "You're on a trip to China. As you walk about, a merchant guy asks you what you would like to buy to eat. Do you choose cat, or bull penis?"

Sasuke blankly stared at the strange girl. What the heck was she talking about? This made for a very strange conversation, he decided, but answered, "Cat?"

"So you eat the cat. Now the merchant would like to sell you either peacock, or some endangered species. Which do you try?"

"Sakura, why are you asking these questions?"

"Which do you try?"

"..." he glared at her.

"Come on! It's like a choose your own adventure! It's fun!"

"Fine. The peacock."

"You decided to eat the peacock. However, that particular peacock had been sitting out, dead, for a while now, and had gone spoiled, so you got sick. The merchant is extremely sorry, and offers you an herbal medicine. Do you use it or walk to the hospital?"

"Hospital."

"You're on your way to the hospital, clutching your aching stomach, when a bunch of gangsters come out of nowhere. You're in their territory. You're too weak to fight, so they beat you up really bad and eventually you died. The end. Would you like to try again?"

"I...died?" he asked, confused. The hospital seemed like the logical way to go.

"Yes. You died. Try again?"

Sasuke thought about it. This was extremely retarded, but it was like a game, and he didn't like losing, so he'd try to win it.

"Aa."

"Cat or bull penis?"

"Cat."

"Peacock or endangered species?"

"Endangered species."

"So you ate the endangered species, but unknown to you, there was some authority figure man hiding in the shadows. That particular species was now fully extinct, and you ate the last one. You're under arrest and so is the merchant. The end. Try again?"

Sasuke sighed, but then nodded.

"Cat or-"

"Cat, peacock, medicine."

"You take the medicine that he gave you and eventually you felt better. You decide you had enough of China. You board your ship that's headed to Konoha. Later that night, you're on one of the decks when you hear a little boy in the water. He's drowning. Do you go to save him, or do you not, since there are people closer. One of them can save him."

"Let someone else do it."

Sakura gave Sasuke a look of disbelief, but continued on. "You go to sleep, and in your dream karma kicks in, and the Grim Reaper kills you. And you die for real. The end."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

He rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Cat, peacock, medicine, save the kid."

"So you saved the little boy and you're a hero. Yay. His mother is extremely extremely grateful (and single) and wants to repay you. Do you go on a date thing with her, or do you decline?"

"Date?"

Sakura looked smug, but continued, "So you follow her back to her room and you both have a few drinks. Just then, her ex-husband comes in and argues with the woman and kills her and kills you. The end."

Sasuke raised his eyebrow. "Sakura..."

"Yes?"

He laughed quietly and shook his head. "Never mind. Cat,peacock, medicine, save the kid, decline."

"The woman isn't very happy, but understands. You're a busy man. So you finally arrive back home, and Naruto and I are waiting for you. Naruto wants you to go with him for ramen, but I want you to go to the movies with me. Where do you go?"

"With you," he said.

Sakura smiled. "So we watched the movie and everything was cool but then you said something that I really didn't like so I punched you, but I guess I punched you too hard 'cause I killed you. The end."

Sasuke laughed. "It really seemed like the logical choice since this _is_ your story and all."

"Heh heh heh..."

"Right...Cat, peacock, medicine, save the kid, decline, go with Naruto."

"So you and Naruto ate ramen. And it was yummy. The end."

"That's really it, huh?"

"Yup! Did you like it? It was fun, wasn't it?" Sakura smiled big.

"It was...alright. It lacked though."

"Could've been longer?"

"Aa."

"Yeah I agree." They sat in silence again. Sasuke read his paper, and Sakura stared at him. There wasn't much else to do anyway.


	2. The other adventure

**Hmm. This wasn't even supposed to be a 2-shot, but...**

**Well the first week of school, I wasn't even in any classes!! I transferred there. And they didn't have my schedule, along with like, 50 other kids. So we sat in the library. The WHOLE week!! Doing nothing! Well, I wrote. That's where this came from. Sorry if it's bad. I forced myself to write this.  
**

* * *

**_CYOA II: The other adventure_**

* * *

A random girl walked into the Kazekage's office. Her mother had told her to get out of the house that day, which she did, but there was nothing to do as she walked around for hours. She had eventually ended up at the Kazekage's building, where she snuck inside and found her way into his office. He sat at his desk, looking rather bored, and looked up.

"Can I help you?" he asked, lifting his head from his hand.

She scanned him over, seeing messy red hair and tired/bored eyes.

"It seems, actually," she said, walking closer, "that I may be able to help _you._"

He looked at her with a raised...non-eyebrow.

She saw the look he gave her and quickly said, "You seem rather bored, so let's play a game." She smiled.

He looked at her oddly. "Let's play a game? That sounds like one of those lines that come from creepy little girls in horror movies."

"Um, not that kind of game," she said and sat down where she stood. "I'm just gonna make up something from the top of my head," she said and ruffled her long black hair.

He seemed interested and leaned forward, hands on his chin.

"You're heading to Konoha for some business alone. You see a sign that has two arrows. The one pointing to the left says bears. The one pointing to the right says frogs. Do you pick left or right?"

Gaara looked at her and smiled. "Seems like fun. I'll chose...right."

"You choose the path of frogs. As you're walking, you notice one. A red one. You bend down to get another look when it hops on your face and, without you knowing it, infects you, for it is a poisonous frog. Five minutes later you're lifeless and on the forest floor. Play again?"

Gaara blinked a couple of times. "Choosing the left was the right answer? You wanted me to go to the bears?" The girl, who seemed like his age, or maybe a year older,nodded with a smile on her face. He sighed and said, "I'll play again. Let's go see some bears."

The girl smiled widely. "You walk down the path of the bears. You stop immediately when you see one to the side, paying you no attention. You're kinda nervous at this point. Do you turn back, or do you continue?"

"I wanna turn back."

She grinned. "You turn back when all of a sudden you fall into a really big ditch and break your whole body. Play again?"

"...fine. You really enjoy killing me off, don't you?" he asked.

She shook her head. "No no. Of course not, Kazekage-sama."

"Left and continue."

"You walk past the bear. He wasn't paying you no attention anyways. You keep walking until you see a rather lovely clearing, with a small crystal clear lake. You decide to check it out when you see a girl pop up from under the water. She doesn't seem to be clothed. She spots you and reaches for one of her kunai. Uh oh, she's ninja. Do you try to explain what you're doing there, or do you make a crazy run for it?"

"I'll explain. I didn't do anything anyway."

The girl sighed and shook her head.

"What? Is she going to kill me too?"

She smiled. "You explain that you only happened upon the clearing and that you didn't know that she was there. She sees your hitai-ate and grows, and her kunai hits her mark. Your heart. Play again?"

He glared at her. "Who are you?"

"A citizen of your country," she said simply. "You're just not very good at the game, that's why you're mad. Any reasonable person would run like hell from crazy lady with kunai!"

The Kazekage rolled his eyes. "Left, continue, run like hell." Then he smiled.

She smiled too. "You run like a crazy ninja out of that clearing, dodging kunai and shurikan. You look back. She's not following you so you calm down. But now where are you?"

"I don't know..."

"Neither do I! So you are...somewhere...possibly nowhere. And where the hell is Konoha? You have no clue. You sigh and keep walking. An hour later, you stumble upon a person. A Konoha nin, thank Kami-sama. But is it just you, or does something seem off about this dude. Do you trust him to get to your destination, or do you not trust him?"

"Hopefully you just gave me a hint," he said, looking at her suspiciously, "I won't trust him."

She stood up on her feet and clapped. "Yay! Good job! That ain't no Konoha nin. That's just some missing nin. He makes a move to do some ninjutsu, when you kill him with your awesome sandiness."

"Without Shukaku, I'm not half the ninja I used to be."

"Just pretend. So you keep walking for God knows how long when you make it to Konoha! Yay! And you do your business stuff and get bored to death-"

"I died again?!"

"No no no. You get bored to _metaphorical _death and go home a do awesome Kazekage stuff. And you get bored, when a very cute girl walks in and asks you to play a game. Do you?"

"I just did..."

"The end!"

"That's the end?"

"Yup."

"Ok...I'm bored again..."

"Can't help you there," the girl said and stood up, stretching.

"Thanks for the weird story."

"You're quite welcome. Good day, Kazekage-sama," she said, bouncing to the door. He waved at her and then she was gone and ended up on the streets again. She wondered if her mother would tell her to get out of the house again if she went home.


End file.
